For some reason today I feel very very sadI keep thinking of the life I could have had
If as a child I could have had a happier life
Maybe I would not be feeling like I was Lot's wife
Seems to me so many people hearts are filled with stoneSo I stay to myself in my little world and leave people alone
If one family like most kids I knew this was the wish really had
Was to have one mother and one great and wonderful dad
But daddy I never got to know because of his young death
After this I had a new father's often sometimes it took away my breath
We moved to many different schools and so many many new towns
I had a lot of teachers with,so many names Smiths,Jones even some Browns
And each time I got a new stepfather my name would change too
Sometimes I forgot the last name I had and would ask my sister if she knew
This childhood I had gave me so many fears and to this day I am so insecure
If raised in a stable home so many of life's decisions would have been simpler
So many times bad choices I made by thinking someone liked me we would be friends forever
By me having so many insecurities I would find out later to have had this friend was not so clever
Over the years people have taken advantage of my gentle ways and my kindness
When you get hurt so many times in life more insecure you feel of your own blindness
Now that I am much older and still insecure I wonder if I had lived a child in a stable
world
I do wonder if my life at this age should still be going around and still being swirled
What kind of road would I have walked down
If only I had one family in one small town
What kind of path for my life would I have chose
I would have been happier and out of the darkness I would have arose
And I would not have all these fears and be so insecure
My life would have been so sweet not so bitter like vinegar
Oh well this is the life that I got instead
And will just make the best of it until I am dead
And something is waiting a stable life in Heaven just for me
wow this is so true, and really really good
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