I have been a child, friend,wife ,mother and now at this point in my life I am enjoying being a Grandmother.
My whole world with the father of my children and grandchildren changed so fast I do not know my way this was my life not any other.
I find myself so alone and scared and lost with so much fear.
How will I ever learn new, even when my children are still right here.
To be in a home alone for the very first time in my entire life can be very sad.
I can only pray I will adjust to my new life and someday be glad.
Right now my life is like a seesaw going up and down.
I can not wait until my feet stand strong on the ground.
Everyday I just keep holding on and hoping this new life will give me a life
Because all I ever have been is a child, friend mother and wife.
bjperryman 06/25/2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Sleepless Night
Can not seem to sleep with all the things in my head
Hoping that my many spoken words today I said
I am praying I Touched just one heart one that was lonely,confused or sad
I love this life that God has chosen for me but sometimes my troubles are also bad
So from one wondering soul to my fellow friend
Lets keep each other in our prayers until the very end.
LOVE ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Brenda Everhart 01/19/2012
Hoping that my many spoken words today I said
I am praying I Touched just one heart one that was lonely,confused or sad
I love this life that God has chosen for me but sometimes my troubles are also bad
So from one wondering soul to my fellow friend
Lets keep each other in our prayers until the very end.
LOVE ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Brenda Everhart 01/19/2012
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
The Lords Prayer
You know most people learn the Lords prayer in church or from a parent
Well as I have told you we traveled all through my childhood so yes I guess you can say I learned this prayer from a parent yep it was my mom
We always traveled back and forth from Florida to Tennessee and for some strange reason mom always had a small car because when we got settled we never got to ride in the car with her this just did not look cool for such a pretty lady to be hauling around a bunch of kids how in the world would she snag another husband but in between daddy's we traveled with mom back and forth sitting on top of each other I always sat in the floor board one of my brothers was always up in the back window now you see there were 6 of kids but no one was ever allowed to sit in the front or roll down windows see this made her nervous
She always had the longest switch on her dashboard so we never wanted her to get nervous that's another reason I sat in the floorboard cause she was so good at driving with one hand and not even turning around and she could hit at least 5 of them by the time she got un nervous
And we had to also listen to her sing Amazing Grace the whole ride never stopping cause we had bread and baloney and a jar of water needless to say we did not drink much cause when she pulled over for someone to pee they got smacked on the back of the head
So when we got close to Atlanta we all had to say the Lords Prayer until mom made it safely through Atlanta and On the way back home we would have to do this again now you see we went from fla to tenn about 20 times at least a year so by the time I was 3 I knew this prayer inside and out.
Because of this I do so love this Prayer but I will not go anywhere near Atlanta I will go all the way down thru Alabama just to get to Fla.
So people please appreciate the way you were taught this PRAYER
bje
Well as I have told you we traveled all through my childhood so yes I guess you can say I learned this prayer from a parent yep it was my mom
We always traveled back and forth from Florida to Tennessee and for some strange reason mom always had a small car because when we got settled we never got to ride in the car with her this just did not look cool for such a pretty lady to be hauling around a bunch of kids how in the world would she snag another husband but in between daddy's we traveled with mom back and forth sitting on top of each other I always sat in the floor board one of my brothers was always up in the back window now you see there were 6 of kids but no one was ever allowed to sit in the front or roll down windows see this made her nervous
She always had the longest switch on her dashboard so we never wanted her to get nervous that's another reason I sat in the floorboard cause she was so good at driving with one hand and not even turning around and she could hit at least 5 of them by the time she got un nervous
And we had to also listen to her sing Amazing Grace the whole ride never stopping cause we had bread and baloney and a jar of water needless to say we did not drink much cause when she pulled over for someone to pee they got smacked on the back of the head
So when we got close to Atlanta we all had to say the Lords Prayer until mom made it safely through Atlanta and On the way back home we would have to do this again now you see we went from fla to tenn about 20 times at least a year so by the time I was 3 I knew this prayer inside and out.
Because of this I do so love this Prayer but I will not go anywhere near Atlanta I will go all the way down thru Alabama just to get to Fla.
So people please appreciate the way you were taught this PRAYER
bje
The sadness inside sometimes I feel
For some reason today I feel very very sadI keep thinking of the life I could have had
If as a child I could have had a happier life
Maybe I would not be feeling like I was Lot's wife
Seems to me so many people hearts are filled with stoneSo I stay to myself in my little world and leave people alone
If one family like most kids I knew this was the wish really had
Was to have one mother and one great and wonderful dad
But daddy I never got to know because of his young death
After this I had a new father's often sometimes it took away my breath
We moved to many different schools and so many many new towns
I had a lot of teachers with,so many names Smiths,Jones even some Browns
And each time I got a new stepfather my name would change too
Sometimes I forgot the last name I had and would ask my sister if she knew
This childhood I had gave me so many fears and to this day I am so insecure
If raised in a stable home so many of life's decisions would have been simpler
So many times bad choices I made by thinking someone liked me we would be friends forever
By me having so many insecurities I would find out later to have had this friend was not so clever
Over the years people have taken advantage of my gentle ways and my kindness
When you get hurt so many times in life more insecure you feel of your own blindness
Now that I am much older and still insecure I wonder if I had lived a child in a stable
world
I do wonder if my life at this age should still be going around and still being swirled
What kind of road would I have walked down
If only I had one family in one small town
What kind of path for my life would I have chose
I would have been happier and out of the darkness I would have arose
And I would not have all these fears and be so insecure
My life would have been so sweet not so bitter like vinegar
Oh well this is the life that I got instead
And will just make the best of it until I am dead
And something is waiting a stable life in Heaven just for me
old people should not stay up so late
stayed up writing last night so sleepy boy its going to hurt me so bad to do back to work
dam it to hell man
dam it to hell man
Monday, November 21, 2011
11/21/2011 Accident
First of all I am new to face book and just found out today some people do not like me posting on their walls so......on mine only will I post.
Second of all my children's father whom I am not married to but have been with for 33 years today was his birthday but we celebrated it yesterday it was good, well he picks up 2 of our gran kids from school about 3 to 4 times a week since I was off today he asked me I said sure so like 2 weeks ago I did some changes on my computer and it had the wrong time but I never noticed so I was not watching tv I was just cleaning,cooking and coming back to computer well it said 130pm when he comes yelling in the door where are the kids I said why are you home early he said its 330pm I finally looked at the tv time he was right so off he goes slamming the door and picking up kids dropped them off with me and left My grand kids have big mouths so they told me Pa was real mad at me and never doing anything else for him well that's just fine I thought because this house fairy just fired herself from her job 2day no more clothes washing no more cooking no more nothing so here I sit in the computer room and I just heard him come home Lets see who does the most for whom...He will not win this one so silence it will be for sometime on my part because he should have never said anything to my grand kids accidents happen he said he even knew clock was off on computer he should have fixed it so I so wished I had not cleaned or cooked on my day off on his he goes fishing
ooh feel so much better just getting it off my chest
Second of all my children's father whom I am not married to but have been with for 33 years today was his birthday but we celebrated it yesterday it was good, well he picks up 2 of our gran kids from school about 3 to 4 times a week since I was off today he asked me I said sure so like 2 weeks ago I did some changes on my computer and it had the wrong time but I never noticed so I was not watching tv I was just cleaning,cooking and coming back to computer well it said 130pm when he comes yelling in the door where are the kids I said why are you home early he said its 330pm I finally looked at the tv time he was right so off he goes slamming the door and picking up kids dropped them off with me and left My grand kids have big mouths so they told me Pa was real mad at me and never doing anything else for him well that's just fine I thought because this house fairy just fired herself from her job 2day no more clothes washing no more cooking no more nothing so here I sit in the computer room and I just heard him come home Lets see who does the most for whom...He will not win this one so silence it will be for sometime on my part because he should have never said anything to my grand kids accidents happen he said he even knew clock was off on computer he should have fixed it so I so wished I had not cleaned or cooked on my day off on his he goes fishing
ooh feel so much better just getting it off my chest
murphy's law
As you follow me I will be telling you whatever it is I want to say and especially how many more laws I have added to this Law Book
1= I have had 1 mother and father,mother still alive but father died when I was 6
2=I have had about 13 0r 14 stepfathers not for sure how many it takes some time to write down their names to count them
3= I have always been under the cloud of murphys law as you will find out later
Thats all for now
Brenda
1= I have had 1 mother and father,mother still alive but father died when I was 6
2=I have had about 13 0r 14 stepfathers not for sure how many it takes some time to write down their names to count them
3= I have always been under the cloud of murphys law as you will find out later
Thats all for now
Brenda
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